"...your double eyelid from birth bothers me..."

I think I might love this a little bit.

Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair

I did half my push-ups today on my toes so, yeah... where's my statue?

Confession time: I love pink hair

"I feel like a Geography teacher going "hey guys, I don't care what's cool, and really, doesn't that make e coolest of all?" No. No it doesn't, and no I won't call you Gary."

Read the rest of the charming article from which this snippet springs here.

Thanks (I think?) to Facebook pal Darren Wong for this one. Also: yikes.

Emotionally mature things I did today #12

Resisted the urge to send my annoying neighbour a shitty, passive-aggressive email that would have been deeply satisfying but would also, in Andy's words, Only Encourage Her. Deep breath, deep breath. This too shall pass.

"It was never generally available but it was the Velvet Underground of computers, in that everyone who saw it went on to make their own computer industry."

I don't know a lot about computers but I did own an Amiga 500 back in the day - or, rather, my family did - and I used it a lot. For those who didn't have the pleasure, let me assure you it was GLORIOUS: 20 years on I have nothing but good memories of playing Bubble Bobble, Great Giana Sisters and creating some truly atrocious calendars and birthday cards as gifts for kind family members who were classy about it on the outside but presumably dying of laughter on the inside. That isn't a slam on my calendar-making abilities or anything but, you know, they were printed on a dot matrix printer, so... yeah. There was THAT.

Do you need to have owned an Amiga or a Commodore 64 or have been exposed to a computer in those charming, heady days of the 80s to truly appreciate and warm to this lovely article about nostalgia, friendship and, er, grief and to appreciate paragraphs like this one -?

In 2002, Jim and Tom and I got together and went down to an Amiga festival at a hotel in Maryland. It was—even by the standards of nerd events—well, it was rough. Men had Amiga logos woven into their beards. People with ailments sold disks out of worn cardboard boxes. I had expected it to be like an alumni weekend, a chance to get together and chat about old times. But these people were angry. I remember driving back and feeling stupefied. How could all that sweetness have leached from the world? I blamed Microsoft Windows.

Maybe not but it sure worked for me. It's a long read and a LOT of it went screaming over my head but give it a shot.

Pros and Cons about the movie The Immigrant

Pro: It's not that long: under 2 hours and Lord knows I love a short movie.

Con: It felt longer.

Pro: The acting is great. Marion Cotillard and Joaquin Phoenix are kind of terrific in their way. Jeremy Renner is... entirely bearable.

Con: After a promising start and the introduction of some fascinating characters the movie quickly becomes... kind of boring.

Pro: Marion Cotillard is very pretty.

Con: Maybe even... really boring...

Pro: I mean, really pretty.

Cons: ... And predictable. And it takes itself too seriously.

Pro: There is still probably a great original movie waiting to be made about the American Dream in the context of the flood of immigrants in the 1920s.

Con: This is not that movie.

Things I unexpectedly found myself defending yesterday:

1. BDSM.

That is all.

“You can pretend for a long time, but one day it all falls away and you are alone.” (Jean Rhys)

 

One Art

Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isn’t hard to master;

so many things seem filled with the intent

to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster

of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.

The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:

places, and names, and where it was you meant

to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother’s watch. And look! my last, or

next-to-last, of three loved houses went.

The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,

some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.

I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.

—Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture

I love) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident

the art of losing’s not too hard to master

though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

Me want

(Via Rainbow Rowell)

But the 'details' are pretty filthy, I'll tell you that much.

Daniel Radcliffe's charm assault on my heart continues with... rapping. I mean... there's nothing not to like here, is there? Could he be more likeable at this point? In my dream future he and I somehow become best friends and he introduces me to Alan "Professor Snape" Rickman and his Kill Your Darlings co-star (and friend) Dane deHaan and then.... well, I'll spare you the details but THINGS HAPPEN.

I want to be alone

I don’t want to make it sound like I’m walking around the street getting catcalled all the time and, oh God, it's just such a pain being so beautiful and desirable because… no.

But like most young(ish) and nice(ish) looking women I have been on the receiving end of unsought attention from random dudes on the street plenty of times.

Sometimes it’s not bad, even ego-boosting, if it’s done in a polite and respectful way and I’m in a good mood. Sometimes it’s gross and offensive and scary. Sometimes it’s done in a polite and respectful way but it feels like The Worst because I’m in a funk or it’s the third time today or I’m just not in the mood to do the little dance so many of us women do, where we smile politely and brush it off without offending anyone too much. Sometimes I smile politely because the guy seems nice and/or harmless and I don’t want to hurt his feelings. Sometimes I smile politely because I’m scared if I don’t he might get angry and hurt me. Hey, my smile says, Please Don’t Murder or Rape Me.

Anyone who thinks I’m being a bit histrionic should check out this video, where a cute New York woman filmed herself walking around the city for a day (in jeans and a tshirt) and got 108 shout-outs from dudes on the street. One hundred and freaking eight. Can you imagine how TIRING it is to face that kind of constant barrage? Can you imagine how FURIOUS she would have felt after 10 hours? Can you imagine how much she would have wanted to just curl up in a dark room somewhere and Not Be Looked At for a few hours?

A reunion

Oh, Alannah, welcome back I HAVE MISSED YOU.

I want my father back, you sonofabitch

I thought this article about time, ageing and The Princess Bride, otherwise known as the Greatest Movie of Our Time, would depress me. It did not. I really love Christopher Guest's bit about the glove because, well: wouldn't you?

Things I can't unthink and wish I could #14

You Always Hurt the One You Love does kind of sound like it might be endorsing domestic violence. Thanks for that one, Andy.

This will not be our year.

There comes a time in every girl's life where she realises that, all going to plan, she'll never fall in love again. You can get super depressed about this super depressing idea if you like. Or you can just listen to this song, maybe have a teensy weep.

Best/worst lines from the new TV series, The Flash

The Best
"The coma... gave me abs?"

The Worst
"We were all struck by that lighting."

Verdict
There's enough goofiness, sufficient laughs and good-looking people being good-looking on screen for me to say that I'm cautiously onboard.

Word

(Via Rainbow Rowell)

I DIE

OH MY FUCKING GOD. SOMEBODY HAS PUT TOGETHER TWO OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS IN THE WORLD: GOOD-LOOKING MEN IN TWEED AND THE MOVIE MAURICE AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO BREATHE RIGHT NOW SO I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT THE CAPS.