Today's best headline...

... comes courtesy of The Australian website, which came up with this beauty:

Abbot ready to dump on Hockey.

I just bet he is.

Big boobs

Pros: The obvious ones.

Cons: Slogan t-shirts tend to be a tricky area. Wearing my newly-acquired Worst of Perth Perth: the Bunbury of the North shirt to the getting-harder-every-week Paddy Maguires quiz night the other day, for instance, it occured to me that you would pretty much have to crawl into my belly button to be able to read the punchline. Plus whenever someone says "nice shirt" you immediately suspect them of leering at your tits, despite the fact you are wearing an item of clothing more or less imploring them to do just that.

An open letter:

To the girl walking down The Terrace today wearing hotpants, a beret and a giant Nikon camera slung around her neck like she thinks she's fucking Henri Cartier-Bresson,

Honey, no.

Best Regards

Question

Is 27 too old to be:

a)allowing your car to run out of petrol
b)calling your Dad to help you deal with situation a)?

Oh dear

The older one gets the older everything else in general feels and the harder it becomes to believe that one is learning anything or is capable of being surprised by anything anymore.

So I was heartwarmed (and, obviously, slightly flummoxed) by news from a very close 30-something friend that she had just learned how to use Eftpos cards. This week. Yes, this very smart and well-educated friend found herself in the supermarket line when she realised she'd forgotten her credit card. Recalling that she had left it at home, she called her husband and asked him to bring it down. He, sensibly, asked why she didn't just put it on her bank card. It was then (over his hysterical laughter I assume) that said friend learned one's bank card cannot be used simply at ATM machines but to pay for goods and services at a wide variety of locations.

One can only dream that such a delightful surprise lurks around the corner for all of us.

Question

If a colleague is in danger of driving me to insanity could it be termed self defence if I repeatedly stapled him or her in the head?

Vent THIS!

Since I started this blog back in the days when I was involved in some classic cat-up-a-tree journalism (and had, arguably, a bit too much time on my hands, hence the reason for the blog) I have been extremely gratified to have friends, family and strangers dropping by from time to time.

However, because there is also a link to my blog via my facebook page, where I am too polite to delete some people I would rather delete, one of the downsides is that it makes it very hard to be entirely honest about some of my recent, er, experiences, on here when I’m not sure if so-and-so is a reader or not. And sometimes a blogger just needs to vent. So with a warning to my regular readers and friends that none of the following refers to them, let me say simply:

1. So-and-so has officially Lost The Plot. He or she has lost his or her
fucking mind. What the FUCK is going on there?

2. I am beginning to suspect that either whats-his-or-her-name is a bit of a selfish dick or I am a completely naive doormat. Both of these things may be true.

3. I couldn't think of a third cryptic venting but, um, the dog that howls ever y morning over the road from me is pretty annoying. Seriously, what a bitch.