Tuesday, May 31, 2016

My day in a nutshell

Legitimately believed for one terrifying moment I had grown a new, tiny bone behind my knee before I realised I'd dropped a bobby pin down my tights.

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Between Love and Hate

Things I am loving 

Breakfast with the papers at Sayers. I swing between worrying this is a terrible, overly indulgent, habit and feeling like it is a necessary ritual to remain sane and happy.

Avocado. All hail the mighty green beast: I can’t get enough mashed on toast or stuffed into a toastie lately.

The novels of Toni Jordan. Since stumbling onto “Fall Girl” because I thought the cover looked cool (…) I’ve been devouring her back catalogue and loving it. ‘Tis bloody hard to find any writer who does funny and romantic well, let alone an Aussie.

The hot chips from Flipside Burger. Simply none better and I speak as someone who has sampled EXTENSIVELY. If you like aoli, which tragically I can’t eat right now, you have the perfect accompaniment.

The Hamilton soundtrack (yes, still).

Running. Still. Just. Despite having to cut back on my pace and distances a bit lately I still find that the best days of my life begin with a run. There is simply no better feeling than finishing a long run and thinking "fuck I'm going to enjoy this giant plate of pancakes now". Is that... wrong?

Things I am hating

People posting endless (posed) wedding photos on social media. My GOD it’s just one fucking day, enough already please.

Perpetual tardiness. Get a watch, look at your phone or at least pretend to give a shit about other people’s time – I don’t care which.

Headaches. Specifically: my headaches. Why do  you torment me so?

Cold mornings. I love a cold night when I’m snuggled under the doona but when the alarm goes off at 5.30am and it’s freezing my body just does not want to get out of bed.

My inability to find a) my DVD copy of Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake, or b) a version of this online, not even for ready money. If you're uncertain why I love this so much the photo above might help you work it out.

Pinching pennies. True, I'm not exactly doing it tough in that I still spend money going out for breakfasts, dinners and to the movies because these are the things that, for me, make life worth living. But maaaaaaaaan it would be nice to buy a new pair of beautiful heels or a wet weather running jacket or a million books some time soon.
From McSweeney's, which you should really check out all the time.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

“It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.”

(G.K Chesterton)

Monday, May 16, 2016

Token Smokin'... Hottie?: The difficult case of Lin-Manuel Miranda

My feelings about Lin-Manuel Miranda are complex. By which I mean I can’t entirely decide if I want to do terrible things to him or just be his best friend and hang out, maybe write some songs together*.

Physically he ticks some boxes, particularly with his delightful smile. That’s a non-negotiable for me: I’m pretty sure I have never fancied someone who didn’t have a great smile. He also has dark hair, great skin and generally seems chill-as-hell and charming, all of which I care for greatly. At the same time his head does… sort of resemble a potato and when he wears his hair out it... doesn't really work for me.  At all. Also, I’m not trying to be cruel here, but he does have a borderline Dawsonesque fivehead and the less said about his facial hair the better. 

If I wasn’t so weak at the knees for Hamilton and I passed him in the street would I fancy him? I’m really not sure.

For me it comes down to this hypothetical scenario: LMM and I are hanging out in a bar. We’re having a great time as he tells me stories about writing an incredibly successful Broadway musical and I show him pictures of my cat. It’s a real meeting of minds. At the end of the night we agree to catch up to see a movie soon and…

Here’s the thing. If I don’t fancy him and this is just an I-admire-you-greatly sort of a thing then I’m happy to go home to my own bed. If I do fancy him I’ll be deeply unhappy if he doesn’t manage to stick his tongue down my throat before we part ways. This is science, people, this is a scientific process right here.

Verdict? I'm disappointed to be heading home solo, which I'm pretty sure means I do in fact fancy him. So that’s nice to know. Aren't you glad we took this journey together?

*By which I mean he writes songs while I sit quietly.

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Although I have some way less wholesome stuff in mind, too

If Tom Hiddleston were your boyfriend, when he talked in his sleep he would say things like, “The clockwork! The clockwork!” and “I’m not just a creature of your imagination!” He would never recall any of these statements when he woke up.
They've got it nailed over at The (soon to be closed) Toast.

Friday, May 6, 2016

Call me

Most of the time I'm 99 per cent sure I couldn't be with someone who was religious because I'm a committed atheist and to take organised religion seriously just seems so dumb (not discounting the genuinely terrific community work some churches do). But then I hear the thing Brandon Flowers does to his voice when he sings the line "looking for the answer" while wearing his crazy-awesome feather jacket and having that FACE and I think what's a little Mormonism between friends, eh?

Unreal news

For fans of season one of Unreal (AND WHY WOULDN'T YOU BE?) this is very exciting.

Sunday, May 1, 2016

How long has it been since you saw Tootsie?

If you have to think about it, it may have been too long.

"Chunts up with that?"

The podcast Hello From the Magic Tavern is... maybe not for everyone. If you're a cold, heartless monster who hates to laugh, for example, it may not be for you. If not... well get onboard. It's delightful.