“Yahtzee!”

A year or so ago I wrote a really terrible "novel" about a girl who, through Circumstances, winds up stuck in a rom-com world (I know, I know) where she has to fight against all the genre's shitty cliches, including the best friend who exists only for plot and exposition purposes and the wacky misunderstandings she can see coming but can't prevent. I wasted about 80,000 words and a year of my life writing something incredibly lame and unfunny that needs to be burned in a fire immediately, while over at the New Yorker Mindy Kaling has gone and written something much, much better and using way, way, way less words. To wit:

The Sassy Best Friend

You know that really hilarious and horny best friend who is always asking about your relationship and has nothing really going on in her own life? She always wants to meet you in coffee shops or wants to go to Bloomingdale’s to sample perfumes? She runs a chic dildo store in the West Village? Nope? O.K., that’s this person.

I mean: hee! You can read the whole thing here. (Also you should know this article is years old, I just stumbled onto it today because I'm 4 years behind the world).