Thursday, November 8, 2012

If watching Clint Eastwood paw Meryl Streep doesn't get me going, I mean, nothing will...

Sometimes I think there is something wrong with me: some little part of me inside that has bent or snapped or been worn down from a lifetime of me being, you know, kind of a pussy. Today I had to conduct a lengthy, heart-wrenching interview for work: an interview I have been dreading for days because I knew it would be hard. I had expected, and tried to prepare myself, for tears - my own. I knew the subject matter was liable to upset me and I just wanted to get through the interview in one piece and not embarass myself by crying, even if that meant bawling in my car afterwards. Hold it together, Kate, I was thinking as I walked through the door. And... I didn't cry. At all. I didn't even come close to crying. The woman I was interviewing cried - something that usually sets me off - and I didn't even tear up. It wasn't that I didn't feel anything - I felt sad for her, frustrated on her behalf and even (yes I sicken myself) a little excited by how goddamn QUOTABLE she was. But I didn't cry and it wasn't a matter of holding myself together in the moment because I didn't cry on the drive back to the office either. I'm not crying as I write this now. I do not plan or expect to cry about this later. Am I dead inside? Has something inside me snapped off, like the internal cog of a clock that no longer quite connects with the cog next to it, rendering me unable to react to something awful in an appropriate way? I don't know about that but I do know one way to find out, Yes, that's right: Bridges of Madison County I am coming for you.

NOTE: The spacing on this post has been all fucked up into one giant paragraph for some reason. I have no idea what's going on and I'm too fucking tired to care. Tomorrow Kate: I'm leaving this problem for you to fix.

6 comments:

kendimen c said...

So you inspired the character in this movie?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0457939/

my name is kate said...

heh I could say I didn't know what you were talking about. You get a smack for comparing me to Cameron Diaz though

my name is kate said...

Oh lord and I've just remembered that movie has Rufus Sewell as a (kinda not really) love interest. Could it be time for a rewatch?

kendimen c said...

Rufus Sewell? Really? With Jude Law in it?? And of course, the great Jack Black!!??!
I actually don't remember much of the movie either! Rewatch is a good idea :)

my name is kate said...

Oh yeah Rufus Sewell is pure sex on legs. Once you've seen him in the BBC modern update of Taming of the Shrew, looking amazing in eyeliner, you'll never be able to forget him.

kendimen c said...

;)
Wanna bet??


"Pure sex on legs"!!!! That's a big sentence!!!! :)