Monday, April 8, 2013

Baby, shut the fuck up about children

Most of the time I try not to think about it. I push it out of my head. I deliberately avoid reflecting on it. But every now and again the subject of children comes up and I'm forced to consider what it says about me that I don't want kids and have pretty much never ever wanted them. I don't hate kids, exactly, I just don't feel about them the way everyone else seems to feel about them. Most of the time I find them either boring, irritating or - at best - just fine. It's a little bit different when it comes to those I'm related to - I'm very fond of my oldest nephew and godson because he's old enough to be able to hold a conversation and it's sorta neat to think that we share some genes. But when well-meaning friends or family members try to make me hold their baby all I can think of is how quickly I'm allowed to get rid of it.

You'll feel differently about kids when they're your own, someone says. Nothing feels as good as having a child say 'I love you', someone else says. And yet the idea of having one - just THINKING about it for 5 minutes - feels me with dread akin to being told you have to speak in public while naked and being attacked by a bear. A friend and I were discussing the subject while on a walk recently and she said something like: "Having kids just seems like that's the end of having your own life". I was so relieved to hear this sentiment come out of her mouth - a view I heartily endorsed - I felt I could happily have carried her the rest of the way of our walk. Barring the prospect of having someone look after me when I'm old (assuming of course that my kid is not an arsehole, doesn't die before me and isn't seriously disabled) absolutely nothing about it appeals to me on any level at all.

All of which is a long-winded way of saying you should read this. Coming via the Daily Mail it's sort of deliberately provocative and might be bullshit for all I know, but it still makes for some interesting reading. Personally I plan to circulate several copies among family members.

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