Awkward conversations with myself

Me: Look, Guy, I know you want to go out for dinner again and buy that dress even though you have a lot of dresses and have soy mochas at Epic Espresso every morning even though that place is expensive but we are now officially in savings mode and you can no longer have whatever you want.

Myself: Sure. The thing is -

Me: No. There is no "thing". This is not a discussion - I'm telling you, buster, we are Tightening The Belt. There will be no frivolous purchase, no guilty pleasures, no what-the-hell acquisitions just because Alannah Hill has an exciting new range in store that may well be the last collection she ever designs under the label she created and it looks like magic and smells like rainbows.

Myself: Uh huh. It's just I couldn't help but...

Me: I said no. I know it hurts. I know you think "what's the harm" in having just one extra soy mocha than our weekly budget allows but every penny counts, dude - every fucking counts. This is sensible fiscal planning for a happier tomorrow.

Myself: I KNOW ABOUT THE CAT SCRATCHING POST.

(Silence)

Me: Oh.

Myself: Yes.

Me: You know about that?

Myself: Yes.

Me: You know that it was hand constructed in Portland?

Myself: Yes.

Me: From many tiny squares of eco-friendly cardboard?

Myself: Yes.

Me: And that the shipping cost turned out to be more than the actual scratching post?

Myself: Yes.

Me: And it doesn't matter to you that this was all organised well before savings mode commenced and that I was stupid and didn't look at how much the shipping costs would be and could have wept when I learned it was TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS and that I'd already been charged for it and there was nothing I could do about it now anyway?

Myself: No.

Me: Just checking. Carry on.