Conundrums

Life is a funny old thing sometimes isn't it? Sometimes you just don't know how to react to something.

Take the news that the lovely Robert Downey Junior is to play the titular role in a new Sherlock Holmes movie. On first look: awesome. I love, love, LOVE Sherlock Holmes in all his drug-taking, patronising, totally-in-the-closet glory. His smarmy deerstalker hat-wearing shenanigans have always fascinated me and the original books were completely smart and funny in a way that a lot of the movie and TV adaptations haven't been (I think Rupert Everett came the closest to getting it right, but he just can't resist hitting the 'camp' switch just one too many times).

Furthermore, as has been well documented here, I love RDJ with a similarly deep abiding passion. He charms me. He intrigues me. I think he'd be just generally really fun to hang out with. In the bedroom. Ahem.

Anyway, so, on the surface: it all sounds good, great even. But supposing you want to know more. Who, for instance, you might ask yourself, is directing this movie? And right about the time your eyes reach "...Guy Ritchie..." the heart sinks and you want nothing but to gouge out your eyes to save them the future pain.

I mean I liked Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels as much as the average teenager who had a giant crush on Nick Moran but... really? Mr Madonna? He's still getting plum work in this town, is he? Nobody ever quite made the effort to see if Swept Away was as godawful as it was supposed to be, eh?

All of this scepticism, obviously, doesn't mean that I won't see this movie at least once, assuming it gets made and all. No doubt I will see it and no doubt I will make others see it with me. It does, however mean I reserve the right to roll my eyes, cluck my tongue and say things like "Oh Mr Doyle, they have done you wrong, sir". As I shall.