As is this the case in my relationships with many people in this world, my relationship with that most cheeky of scoundrels, facebook, is a complex one.
Being a cynic, a party pooper and a general wet blankety type I want to make fun of both it and the people who use it. I want to mock those chronicle his or her every silent fart or cheeky nose pick. I would, if I could, crib terribly off Dorothy Parker to rubbish the wanky profile pics of others. I'd like to savage it as a sign of everything that has gone wrong with our corrupt and decadant society. And yet I'm slightly hamstrung by the fact that I love it.
Honestly, I don't mean to be a gusher but I love everything about it. I love being offered a little glimpse into what other people are up to at any precise moment; I love being able to tell others what I'm up to and have them volley something back; most of all, perhaps, I love being able to cyber stalk those who would rather I left them well enough alone.
I mention this because I was listening to someone bag out facebook the other day as a substitute for human contact. Blah blah blah, she said, why can't people just pick up the phone and call each other. I offered something equally banal as a defence. Blah blah blah, I said, it's just a nice way to stay in touch with people you son't necessarily have time to see or catch up with someone you might never otherwise catch up with.
Nonesense, she said, getting (on my tits a bit by now), with all this new technology nobody has ever made a PROPER new friend through it. So I dealt the trump card by telling her the story of how I did just that some time ago. That shut the bitch up, let me tell you.
I didn't go on but I could have. Because I can think of more than one other person I now consider a friend with whom I would probably never have become friends if not for facebook or this blog or some such. So, nyah, stick it up your face random girl I talked to the other day and let's all have a technology love-in.
Except for the freaks who enjoy twitter. What's up with THAT, eh?