Sunday, April 12, 2009

Oh dear

News just in for women's bodies, and the men who love them: apparently the curvy silhouette is back in style. Forget twiglets and drainpipe jeans that bag around the thigh - from here on out it's going to be all about plump tits, swollen hips and a rump you can park your bike on. Right? Right? Er... right?

Well perhaps we should step back a little and consider our source material for this semi-outrageous claim. The Times this week became the first (but sadly not the last) of the UK broadsheets to make the 'curvy is back' call... for this month at least. And while all this is very good in theory, particularly for those of us who are not only blessed with an excessive amount of soft corners but have just polished of an embarrassing quantity of Cadbury Creme Eggs, I think some scepticism is in order.

Mostly because the "evidence" The Times uses to justify this (alleged) return of the rounded arse is Kate Moss. In particular, the photo of Kate Moss shown above.

"Women rejoice [the Times says], Kate Moss has gone curvy."

To which I say: you have got to be freaking kidding me. I mean, I like Kate Moss, I envy Kate Moss, I even sort of fancy Kate Moss. But when I look at Kate Moss, the word that springs to mind is most certainly not "curvy". And when I look at the photo above I still do not think of the word "curvy". I might think "there is a skinny girl who looks like she's just had a big meal". But even that's pushing it a bit.

I do realise that "skinny still in" does not exactly a story make but Come On. Can we not try a little harder? I can stare at Scarlett Johansen's tits and believe for a moment that T&A is back in vogue, and I could, frankly, look at pictures of that saucy redhead from Mad Men for DAYS and believe anything she wanted me to, but Kate Moss? I could still build an entire outfit for her twiglet frame from the wrappings of the easter eggs I have just consumed. And while I have eaten quite a few easter eggs I have not, I assure you, eaten THAT many.

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