No, seriously: call me

I have been accused, once or twice, of only talking about or linking to columnists that I quite fancy. It is, of course, an outrageous accusation. Like any sensible person I respond to logical arguments, comedic timing and other rational stuff. To suggest that I am motivated by the thought that, say, Charlie Brooker may one day be indulging in some self-googling, read of my love for him and say to himself “my God she really GETS me doesn’t she? Pop her on the first plane to my pants” is simply outrageous.

Even so, for the purposes of full disclosure as I prepare to link to another Guardian columnist, let me say for the record that I do actually, against the odds, quite fancy David Mitchell in a posh and cuddly sort of a way, but that my reasons for posting the following is that he perfectly enunciates my view on the fucking bores who whine about getting pinged by a speed camera and for no other reason. (Though, David, if you’re reading this: call me):

“Good news for the Treasury at last! It was reported on Tuesday that it receives more than £88m a year in speeding fines. That's almost enough to pension off one incompetent bank chief every three days. All right, it may not go very far in terms of buying up toxic debt or building Olympic stadiums, but it's a start.

And it isn't borrowed against all our futures, wheedled out of the private sector in some incomprehensible "partnership" or just made up by the Bank of England. It's real money paid directly into the public purse by people who've broken the law. Hooray!

Sometimes though, just when you expect a happy consensus, people surprise you. Apparently, the criminals who break the speed limit don't like the punishments they receive. Then again, the criminals who break the murder laws don't particularly like the punishments they receive either, but they don't form quite such a strident lobby…”

You can read the rest HERE.