Greek philosopher Sophocles had a theory that, on balance, it would have been best never to be born at all. His view on the matter went something like "Never to be born is best for man. And next, in haste, return to whence he came". I was a terrible (and extremely short-lived) philosophy student but I gather his point was that the shitty parts of life outweigh the good so it wasn't really worth suffering through.
Sometime I agree with his sentiment but today I could not disagree more because I have just learned that this exists. Yes, I'm talking about the World Beard and Moustache Championships.
Because, seriously, who would choose not to live in a world where an event like this exists. Where 150 people come together in Norway - (Norway! I can't quite say why that tickles me but it does) - to compete over the lushness and complexity of their facial hair. I think the best part is that there are 17 categories. 17 categories: just imagine it!
The second best part is that people like Michael "Atters" Attree (he's the sexy bitch pictured above and also apparently a British actor and satirist) not only compete in this competition but go about saying things like this to journalists:
"Beards are hideous things if you ask me," says Attree, who sports a traditional English moustache. "I have my moustache because I bloody well can. Plus, the ladies do love a good old smasher stuck on them."
They sure do, Atters, they sure do.