"Alfred was growing a moustache.
An untrained observer might think he was idling, at a loose end in the countryside, but this wasn't the case. In fact, he was concentrating, thinking his way through every bristle, making sure they would align and be all right.
His progress so far was quite impressive: a respectable growth which already suggested reliability and calm. There were disadvantages to him, certain defects: the shortness, inelegant hands, possible thinning at his crown, habit of swallowing words before they could leave him, habit of looking mainly at the ground - and those few extra pounds at his waist, a lack of condition - but he wasn't so terribly ugly, not such a bad lot."
(An extract from the winner of this year's Costa book prize, Scottish writer AL Kennedy, who apparently only has sex once every 5 years.)