Token Smokin' Hottie: Michael C Hall

Some people are born hot. Oh okay maybe not in the literal sense but there are those people who, once they reach a certain age… blahmo, they’re smokin’ and there’s nothing they can do to hide it. Tragically I don’t speak from personal experience but can you, for instance, imagine finding Clive Owen unattractive on screen these days short of his gaining 200 pounds, ageing 20 years and masturbating into a sock while staring into the camera? Actually I’d probably still go there and you would do, y ou dirty slut. Anyway the same could be said of many of the token smokin hotties I’ve featured here before now: they’re hot in pretty much anything they do.

And then there is Michael C. Hall.

I loved Michael C. Hall in Six Feet Under back when that show was good and hadn’t disappeared up its own arse. As the uptight-undertaker-gay brother Michael C. Hall was one bit neurotic, one part hilarious and many parts complex. Yet, to me at least, he was no parts hot. Being a ho-yay enthusiast I think this had more to do with his dweebish haircut and uptight attitude than his orientation onscreen. Plus his older brother was a fox.

And yet. Under Alley Cat’s recommendation I’ve just started watching the Showtime series Dexter – a series with the completely ridiculous premise of a forensic blood spatter expert who is also a serial killer… but only of other serial killers (blahmo!) Sounds stupid right? Well, it works, by gum. Not only is the series incredibly beautifully shot and produced, funny and engaging but Michael C. Hall is… well, okay, he’s sort of become hot.

I don’t generally get off on the idea of bad boys, at least not bad boys in the I-kill-people-quite-often-and-animals-too sort of way (faux Bad Boys who return their library books late and fold down the corners of pages while they do it.. well, yeah sure). But I think Michael C. Hall might be converting me. It does help, of course, that – as I say – the series is so beautifully shot I can see every drip of sweat gleaming on his silken brow and watch his muscles ripple every time he… you know, murders someone.

Michael C Hall epitomises what we here at What Katy Did like to call a Two Face Hottie. Remember that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry was dating a woman who either looked gorgeous or hideous depending on where she was sitting or standing or whatever? Well that’s Michael C. Hall. It’s all a matter of doing the hair, shaving or getting some stubble on and greasing the motherflipper up. He can be your dorky older brother or the hot neighbour you perve on when he leaves the curtains open even though you have to kinda stand on the toilet seat in the bathroom and stick your head out of the window to do it. You make the call.

SIDE BAR: I know this photo is a bit weird and his sideburns look kinda… ginger but it was disturbingly hard to find a photo that didn’t make his head look like an egg in a wig. Seriously – dude has a big head. If we ever sired children together the poor suckers wouldn’t have a chance in the world.