I have always had a thing for boys in uniform. Um school uniforms. Yeah that’s right and I dig Bill Henson’s art too ‘n everything. Clearly I’m not actually a paedophile but there’s something about the sight of an old school tie contrasted with the crispness of a white shirt and a shaggable (in every sense of the word) haircut that does it for me on a number of levels. And it makes sense. After all the first boys I ever had a crush on were pretty much those I went to school with. Like a slavering Pavlovian dog I am driven to equate the uniform with stupid teen love.
Hence, perhaps, my growing fascination with Penn Badgley, or “Dan” for those who have seen him on the trashilicious US drama Gossip Girl (no idea if it’s out here or still coming – I’ve been at the downloads, I’m afraid). There is nothing about Dan that I WANT to like. Nothing except his nut brown eyes, his ruffable (look it up) hair and a sideways glance he may or may not have perfected in the mirror that nevertheless speaks to me as loudly as a shout: take me now, Kate, it says, under the disco ball.
Sadly the character portrayed by Penn Badgley is kind of a douche. Or rather he’s made to be SO DARN LIKEABLE that I find myself driven to scratch ‘douche’ onto the side of his beautiful face just to vent some of my great, throbbing rage (memo to TV executive types: the boy is hot. He does not need to have ‘moody loner who is improbably unpopular given his unbelievale hotness’ tattooed onto his head for me to fancy him. Some subtlety – please!).
What can I say? The boy fills out a blazer. Oh to be 16 again.