Questions raised by the presence of a Norma Desmond-type I saw sitting at a bus stop in Shenton Park early this morning:

1. Can that giant red coat possibly be real fur?
2. Can those too-dark brown curls possibly be real?
3. How long would it take to break her if I kidnapped her and refused to let her out of the outside toilet until she promised to teach me the secrets of her awesomeness?