Sunday, August 30, 2009

To the cunning bitch working at a certain clothing store in Subiaco,

I know what you're doing, don't think I don't. Don't you believe for one second I don't understand what you're playing at with your big friendly eyes and your "I think you need a smaller size" malarky. You think I need a smaller size? Balls you do: you think that just because you flatter me into squeezing my plump, juicy buttocks into a smaller-than-usual skirt size, I'll go ahead and buy that skirt despite the fact that a)I don't need it, b)I can't afford it.

I just want you to know that the fact I went ahead and bought said skirt had nothing whatsoever to do with your shameless and utterly transparent sales(wo)manship and everything to do with how excellent my arse looked it in. You lose!


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