Monday, December 18, 2006

Token Smokin Hottie: Clive Owen

I'm not quite sure when it was that Clive Owen graduated from That-Guy-on-Second-Sight to tappable suit wearer extraordinarie. Was it his ravishing appearance in Croupier, in which he absolutely worked a hideous dye job? Perhaps it was the red cons in Sin City? It could even have been his appearance in Gosford Park in which he was the most captivating person on screen... and this in an ensemble piece which included the likes of Maggie Smith, Michael Fricking Gambon and Richard E.Grant.. c'mon!

Certainly it wasn't the slew of recent hits and misses, the latter of which included The Pink Panther, Derailed, King Arthur, Beyond Borders, I'll Sleep when I'm Dead, Ticker, Beat the Devil and Hostage? And, people, that only takes him back to 2002 or so.

But fortunately this is no fametracker ( and it's not up to me to decide if he's suitable talented to warrant his role as the thinking (wo)man's english muffin.

I have only to decide if he is scrummy enough to justify a shamless token smokin hottie.... and for evidence I submit exhibit a (above). I was going to write something about how the man could run your mother down in the street and you'd still totally shag him on his car bonnet (before calling the ambulance) but I think this subject has been much better covered by Scrubs, even if it is about Tyra Banks...

Turk: If Tyra Banks drove her car over my mom then offered
to have sex with me, I'd have to dial 911 in the nude because my pants would
already be off.
Carla: That's sweet - while your mother lays there
Turk: [to J.D.] Tell her.
J.D.: His mom doesn't die. Tyra uses her connections in
the supermodel world to get government scientists to put Turk's mom's brain into Heidi Klum's body. She falls in love with me, we all move in together.
Turk: It'd be awkward at first but, I'd make it work...
because I love my mom.
J.D.: Mmm... and I would love her too!
Carla: New low.

To conclude: the boy is drive-over-your-Mum hot. And, yep, I'm trademarking that right now.

1 comment:

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