And I hear Heidi Klum is aching for cowlicks like mine...

As I lay in a hot bath at an ungodly hour this morning watching an episode of America’s Next Top Model (shut up) on a laptop balanced (not at all precariously, Andy) on the toilet seat I found myself overcome with jealousy. Not, as you might imagine for the long legs, bellies you could bounce a coin off and jagged cheekbones but for the ability some people have to become BFF with others apparently immediatley.

You know what I mean: the girls move into the house, they spent about 2 days flounching around performing whatever ridiculous challenge Tyra has cooked up and then they’re all braiding each others hair and having pajama parties.

It’s not just on the show, of course, or any of these sorts of reality shows where people are thrown together – it happens all the time and I’ve always envied the easy familiarity some people seem to have with others even as it shits me when people waltz in only to become on nickname terms with people I, by virtue merely of our longer acquaintance, am still on ‘hey how’re you’ terms with.

It’s not that I’m not awfully happy with the lovely friends I have right now thankyou very much but I’d love to have that feeling, if that’s what it is, that every stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet and be self confident enough to blithely assume everyone is just dying to come over and have a pillow fight in their underwear with me.

And, I mean, CLEARLY this is the only obstacle not only preventing me from being a more well-rounded member of society but preventing me from being on America’s Next Top Model myself. Because round heads and soft corners are in, right? Um, right? Yeah So Is Your Face.