Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Token Smokin' Hottie: Fabian Cancellara
First of all, a quiet word of reassurance to Andy Schleck, lest he be sweating, to assure him that he remains my guilty cycling crush and if he was riding in this year's Tour de France this post would be about him. Awkward looking he may be, super skinny he certainly is and if you were to suggest that his nose is kind of big and his ears sort of... stick out, you wouldn't be exactly WRONG. Nevertheless I love the Schleckmeister to pieces and wish to assure all concerned that what follows does not diminish that love...
All that said Fabian Cancellara is kind of a hot piece of cycling arse, isn't he? Come on. Look at that face. Those muscles. That face. Can we get a close up on the face?
Cancellara always had a certain something-something but this year it seems like he's slimmed down a bit and, skinny boys being my kryponite, I have sat up and taken notice. Will this slimmed down frame be enough to make Cancellara (already awesome on the time-trialling) into a mountain climber to beat the likes of Wiggins or Evans? Seems highly doubtful - he's still pretty big for a climber - which I'm hoping will prompt him to lose even more weight by this time next year, thus exposing even more of the Cancellara cheekbones I have come to know and love and get those hip bones... yeah, yeah, okay, I know, I may... have some problems.
Cancellara appeals to me in the same way the likes of Roger Federer appeals to me: both men are awesome at what they do, which is always hot, and both have a certain rough European handsomness that is very appealing. Is it racist to fancy someone because they look kinda foreign? Let's say... no.
In some respects Cancellara embodies the very essence of what it is to be a token smokin' hottie: having no knowledge of his personality or temperament I fancy him purely on the strength of some solid bone structure, a cute smiles and a body that... well, I tend to think I'm not really into boys' bodies, per se, but in this case I'll make an exception. I could go on. I mean I really Could Go On but sadly the Tour de France is starting and I have... business to attend to.