1. My desire to run a story on whatever bullshit event or product you are spruiking is inversely proportionate to the number of ‘follow up’ or ‘just checking in’ calls I receive from you.
2. Every time you try to bully me into getting a late-night photographer I want to poke out your eyes with my pen and I was lying when I said I had checked with the photographer.
3. About half of everything I say to you is a lie.
4. I didn’t go to that function last week because I would rather strip naked, grease myself up and throw myself into the paper-clip emporium than be trapped with you in a room for even an hour.
5. I’m taking my dislike for you out on your clients and the stories I write about them.