I hear it makes Citizen Kane look like an episode of Sweet Valley High...

For those of you who have better things to do than read I Watch Stuff (you smug bastards) comes the synopsis for what may well be the most awesome movie of all time, Dynamite Warrior. I have been a not-so-secret fan of martial arts-esque movies ever since I saw the bit with the stool in the great early Jackie Chan movie Young Master so this presses all the right buttons for me (especially the one that reads simply ‘what the fuck?’)…

“Set in rural Thailand during the 1920s Dan Chupong (Born To Fight) plays
Jone Bang Fai a young man riddled with grief and bent on revenge after
witnessing his parents’ murder by a callous and malicious killer. The only
information Jone has as to the killer’s identity is the memory of a
tattoo-covered man who is part of an organized group of cattle rustlers. Jone makes it his mission to stop all cattle rustlers and in the process return each head of cattle back to its rightful owner. After searching the country high and low, Jone finally believes he has found the murderer in a small rural village in the North of Thailand. To Jone’s dismay he learns that the killer is in fact a
warlock of immense power, a nearly invincible mystical man who is trying to
control the whole village. His one weakness? He can be harmed only by weapons
that have been treated with the menstrual blood of a young virgin. Armed with this knowledge and a few hundred highly charged rockets (and a dash of menstrual blood), our intrepid hero goes up against one of the most dangerous men to have ever walked the Earth.”