Thursday, May 29, 2008

How not to give your company good PR

Me: (Introduces self, paper etc) I was just calling to talk to (managing director) if he’s available.
Fuckwit receptionist: Uh what was your name?
Me: (Repeats it).
FR: (Managing director) is in a meeting at the moment. What were you calling about?
Me: (Explains I want to have a chat to him about a company project to do with a story I'm writing.)
FR: Is it to find out the reason for the trading halt.
Me: No. I already know about that. I just want to talk to him about the project.
FR: Uh huh well he’s really busy so I’m going to have to ask you to be a bit more specific.
Me: (Through gritted teeth) I just need. To talk to him. About. The project. I want to get some idea about what's going on now and what's coming up and how significant this latest upgrade is. So I can write A STORY.
FR: And is this story likely to be in the next couple of days.
Me: (Barely controlled anger) Yes. It’s for TOMORROW. Look, could I just leave a message and ask him to give me a call when he’s got a minute.
FR: Well look I just don’t think he’s going to call you back. He’s very busy.
Me: Right. Do you have, maybe, a PR who could help me out?
FR: He’s in Sydney for a few days.
Me: Does he have a mobile with him?
FR: No.
Me: (Almost weeping) What about email? Would he check his email.
FR: Maybe.
FR: Oh. Okay.