Token Smokin Hottie: Luke Skywalker

Oh fine, you just wipe that smirk off your face right now will you? I won’t have my love mocked like that.

So presumably you, like everyone else, think Han Solo is the Star Wars hottie young girls lusted after, with his rogue act and improbably tight pants. But Au Contraire, friend. Once a nerd lover, always a nerd lover and for some weird reason, though I can understand the appeal of Han, with his leather jerkin-waistcoat thing rejected by Sir Elton as ‘too gay’ and all the best lines, I have always have a huge crush on Mark Hamill-as-Luke Skywalker. Sure he spends most of the trilogy flouncing about the desert in an ill-fiting ju jitsu outfit and a bad haircut, ill-advisedly fancying his twin sister, or being jammed inside the belly of some dead beast of burden but Come On. Return of the Jedi? You wouldn’t go there?

The fact that Luke gets to be cool is what makes Return of the Jedi, as I was forced to explain in great detail at the weekend, the best Star Wars movie. Yes, yes, while The Empire Strikes back may be TECHNICALLY the superior movie of the three, Return of the Jedi will always get me because it’s the film which marks Luke’s Turn to kick some arse, while the superficially much cooler Han fricks about either being frozen in carbonite or being blind. I mean that bit where Luke comes in to recue Han, all dressed in black with his Jedi mind tricks? And then out in the desert where he saves their arses while remaining cool calm and collected? Oh yeah – you’d TOTALLY go there. And so would I.