Friday, January 19, 2007

An Open Letter to Channel 10

Hey, how're you going. Me? Yeah I'm alright, thanks for asking.

Look, I know this is awkward and I’m sorry to have to bring this up but uh, I think we kinda need to talk.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate re-runs of Futurama and The Simpsons - you know I do, that’s not what this is about. And those couple of weeks where you put Seinfeld on at 6 - those were good days.

But seriously. Dude. We have to talk about Veronica Mars.

This is a good show that you are screwing (and not in the fun way that ends with a romantic explosion).

And when you screw with Veronica Mars you screw with the disaffected youths that make up its fan base. Sure, not all of them have enough time on their hands to, you know, blog about it, but we are a sad, sad bunch so there's no telling what we might do.

I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you with that show about the woman who was trying to get married and whatever. I am. My heart broke a little for you when I heard it was being yanked after four episodes or whatever. That's the kind of thing that would anyone want to spend a few days lying on the couch in trackies and smelling faintly of stale biscuit crumbs.

But you can’t let that get your confidence down - just because something a bit new or a bit different might not rate as well as some overrated middle of the road shit like Lost or centre round the hijinks of a street full of haggard mutton dressed as lamb (And speaking circling? You might want to let Terri Hatcher know that her comeback is circling the drain right about now. Yeah, just a red hot tip) that doesn’t mean you can lock it in the closet like that ugly lamp your Mum gave you once and still asks about All. The. Time.

If you're going to start running an interesting, amusing and well-written new show in a primetime Friday night slot then freaking just commit to it. You've made a promise so it's up to you to honour it. I know it's fun to take a cute blond budding detective out for a couple of Friday nights and I know that maybe it’s a bit weird if perhaps your friends don't like her as much as you hoped they would and maybe you sometimes kinda thought she was a bit too smug for her own good or whatever but, come on, you've made the commitment so stick to it, jerk face...

Oh I'm sorry about that, I got a bit personal there didn't I? That was my bad. But, in my defence, you were the one who played half of Season One before yanking it and moving it to a timeslot known only to you and the monkey you keep in a cage who apparently makes all your programming decisions.

Yeah that’s right, I went there.

So please, ditch the monkey, give Veronica Mars a semi decent timeslot, keep buying the occasional genuinely good show and please, please, please never bring back that show about the woman who wanted to get married. Because seriously, commitment issues aside, that blew pretty hard.

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