Christ - my knees have just gone all wobbly…

Fuuuuck. I’ve just done one of the scariest things I’ve done in ages and I’m still not sure it was the right thing to do. I feel sick, sad and somewhat terrified. I swear there should be excitement in there somewhere but maybe that will come later.

It’s not exactly a secret among my blog readers (but just between the both of you, of course) that I have been thinking about quitting in favour of an unexpected opportunity that has popped up. The thing is that I haven’t found the decision nearly as easy as everyone seems to have expected me to: I love my job, most of the time, particularly where I am now and the people I have met while I’ve been here. I enjoy coming into work and I am relaxed, comfortable and content with my work. And at least two out of the latter three are contributing causes to my (just made official) decision to leave.

I didn’t go hunting for something different but it came my way and I don’t want to regret not taking a chance and doing something that terrifies me. I might hate it - I’m definitely afraid I could - and I might be shite at it - another very real possibility - but either way it will be something new and different. It will certainly push me out of my comfort zone. Also if I’m brutally honest I’m not altogether sure that the whole journalism gig is what I want to do indefinitely. I think I’m pretty good at my job but I don’t know if I want to be doing it in 10, or even 5, years time. Part of me suspects that my latest decision might make my mind up for me on that, one way or the other.

All this is a semi-logical argument supporting my decision, right?

So why is it exactly that I feel like crawling under my desk and throwing up?

NOTE: This is at least my second me-me-me post this week. Um, it's not a new thing I'm trying out so, you know, I'll try to do funny or something sometime soon.

NOTE 2: Jes-us I’m not sure if it’s just that the pressure has got to me but has Julian Casablancas always been this smoking, smoking hot? Check out that side bar, dudes. My. God. I could eat him up sans spoon ...