Monday, September 17, 2007

Nobody associated with this film will be 'safe' if I can help it...

I would just like to say a big fuck you to everyone who was involved with making the movie The Safety of Objects, which has just stolen a shade under two hours of my life.

What a piece of shit. This film exemplifies everything that is wrong with 'festival' films. Pretentious, boring, long, contrived and generally up it's own arse this giant steaming turd is a sharp little retort to anyone who thought they'd never see a worse film than Gigli. At least the latter (though truly, truly more awful than you can imagine) didn't have pretentions of being a 'meaningful' movie. This movie was made by someone who masturbates to American Beauty, listens to Incubus (um yeah sorry Al) and thinks she's the only one who, like, really understands The Catcher in the Rye.

The fact that this film has (apparently) won awards only makes the whole thing that much more embarassing for everyone concerned. And 6.5 out of 10 on Are you voters out of your motherfucking minds? Oh it features a bunch of people with messed up lives does it? How original. And a 12-year-old boy in love with a doll? Gosh how wacky. All we need is a couple of malfunctioning marriages, a she-boy and Joshua Jackson and we... oh we have all that do we? Fucking. Awesome.

To anyone considering renting this pile o' crap please take my advice and find a less painful way to rid yourself off the will to live... self immolation maybe?

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