Ewww

In the course my unbelievably unsuccessful 'career' as a 'fiction writer' (and yes there are indeed more quotation marks required than I'm actually capable of putting in there) I have been required to write the odd sex scene, much as I might avoid it. I will spare you the gritty but I assure you they were brutal. So I should have more sympathy for Norman Mailer who has posthumously received the Bad Sex in Fiction Award today. And hey I'm not saying he didn't deserve it for this shocker...

"So Klara turned head to foot and put her most unmentionable part down on his hard-breathing nose and mouth and took his old battering ram into her lips."

...but I was gunning for Jeanette Winterson.