Sunday, November 18, 2007

Token Smokin' Hottie: Michael Vartan

Oh Michael Vartan I don't know how you do it. I don't mean how you turn my knees into little puddles because that's obvious: the sickeningly chiseled jaw, twinkly eyes, artfully scruffy stubble and mouth constantly on the verge of a smile pretty much speak for themselves.

I mean how have you convinced me that you're incredibly smart, funny and probably very good at fixing the sink or something when I can't think of a single genuinely great movie or TV show I've seen you in. I never watched Alias, where apparently you became a sex symbol and, although I have watched and enjoyed both Never Been Kissed and Rogue pardon me if I don't think you'll be necessarily highlighting those two items on your CV. Or maybe you will because what are the alternatives? Those episodes of Ally McBeal you'd rather forget? To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything? The Next Best Thing? Oh really?

And yet you manage to come off as terribly urbane and witty, even while delivering shiteful B-grade line after shiteful B-grade line. Is it because you wear suits a lot? Because you speak French? Because you managed to convince me you actually found Drew Barrymore attractive? Maybe it's just because you're really, really hot and I'm really, really superficial. Hard to say.


Anonymous said...

Friggin' hilarious...and found while I was searching for pictures of the possibly urbane and witty Mr. Vartan.

Anonymous said...

Have you ever watched an episode of Alias? If you had you would see how we all fell in love with him and his amazing acting abilities (being shirtless was a bonus as well) and I liked him in a lot of his movies, he can actually change to play different characters something not many can. I love his CV!
MV - Major hottie

Anonymous said...

Dear Kate, I also was looking photos of gorgeous Mr. Vartan and I found this... great... but I also recommend you to watch Alias, then, you will find the rest of the reasons... I'm watching Alias in
I watch more than 30 episodes in one week... so, I began to look for info about prince Vartan... yes, I feel also superficial, but I'm not hurting anybody with it :-) Kind regards, Gabriela