Sunday, November 4, 2007

Fascinating (yawn), just fascinating, Kate

It's all about perspective, really.

A month ago, for instance, the prospect of starting my new job, was a terrifying one. I was scared then and I assumed I would have been about ten times as scared now. And so I should have been.

But the past few days- as anyone who has been unfortunate enough to be forced to listen to me moping can testify - have been pretty shitty for me, generally. Not shitty in the sense that anything bad has happened to me but shitty in the sense that I have been at my lowest in quite awhile thanks to general ennui brought on, I assume, by extreme lack of sleep. Sob, sob poor me etc.

But the huge perk of feeling really, really bad lately means that I am now starting to put things into persepctive. Yes the job still scares me and I'm by no means convinced that I will be any good at it. There's still so much I don't know and so many things I don't know how to do that nobody should be surprised if you bump into me in the dole queue in a month's time. But who gives a fuck, really? All that I care about is being happy and while a job that I like and can do is important it's not everything. It won't be the end of the world if it all goes tits up and I will manage. Probably. Phew. Glad to get all that off my chest.

And yes I know I've been a whinging bint these past few days. Would a joke kill me? Probably not, so I'll work on it.


observer said...

good luck love, hope your first day went well.

Dave said...

Good luck!!

my name is kate said...

thanks my sweets - so far so um not oo bad. Looking forward to seeing you both on sat night.