1. I invited an orphan to come to Thanksgiving dinner.
2. A young boy with no family will be joining us. He will look like Oliver and wear those cool gloves with no finger parts to them. We will give him "more."
3. I invited a homeless man I met at Starbucks to come to Thanksgiving. He's, like, 40.
(No, I didn't write this. I've got nuthin' but follow that link to the people who did.)