Thursday, June 28, 2007

"Let's build a snowman..."

As I type this post I am watching the trashorific Earthsea – a fantastically enjoyable straight-to-DVD adaptation of some of my all-time favourite books. The DVD was a surprise present from a certain friend of mine and it’s awesome - in all its on-again off-again acting, low-fi approach to special effects and shameless scenery munching.

In honour of this movie I have taken a trip down memory lane to visit some of the best so-trashy-they’re-awesome movies of all time: the kind you might push to the back of your DVD collection but which secretly get more air time than all the rest put together.

And where to start but with…

The concept: Patrick Swayze plays the second best (I know, I know) bouncer in America who is recruited to whip a tough-as-shit club into shape. Now if that doesn’t sound awesome to you then I want to know who you are and why you’re reading my blog because this is one of the all-time 80s classic trashfests.

This little musical gem from the guys who made South Park is an acquired taste. Marty and I have laughed ourselves into a coma over it but of the many other people I’ve forced it on.... um, well the reception has ranged from cool to frigid. Granted it is occasionally boring, unfunny and tedious. The rest of the time it is fucking hilarious. Highlights include the “Let’s build a snowman” tap dance, the ‘Indians’ who are quite clearly Japanese and, again, the goddamn snowman tap dance. Unbelievable.

Bring it On
The moist, dripping eyes of Jesse Bradford, the semi-lame acting of Dunst and the turtleneck-wearing-boyfriend? Fab, fab and more fab. Luckily this one has become so popular among a certain set that it’s quite socially acceptable to be caught watching it.

Glen and Glenda
Though not as good as the movie made about Ed Wood, this film’s universally damned director, this movie gets me every time. It’s just so… weird and done so painfully on the cheap that it’s fascinating to watch. Plus the clothes are surprisingly cool.

Weekend at Bernies
Oh Come on – you've all seen it and you know why you love it just as you know why it sucks. But, my god, what a concept.

An Arnie film that works on so many levels. Oh wait I mean it just barely works on one but it kicks all kind of arse. Worth watching for the line “time to let off some steam, Bennett” alone.

I’m sure there are dozens I have missed out… any suggestions?


Anonymous said...

Toy Soldiers! It featured heavily in my diary as a 14/15 year-old. Too good. In fact, you might want to download it for me now. Deliciously ridiculous with whats-his-name in it. Terrorists take over an all-male prep school. Hot boys take things into their own hands. How could you not...?

L x

my name is kate said...

I... have never seen it, though I have heard the name. Hmm perhaps worth hitting up ye olde video store...

Dave said...

Toy Soldiers is brilliant in its trashiness. My two all-time favourites are a) The Faculty - nothing new in this teen trash horror sci-fi but god it's fun, and b) I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. Okay I understand I may be crucified for suggesting that one (and i must emphasise it's the second movie in the series, not the first) but any movie with Jennifer Love Hewitt's cleavage, a bad karaoke scene involving 'I Will Survive' and Jack Black as a pot dealer on a Carribean Island has my vote. As a 15-year-old, I actually paid to see it at the movies three - count em, three - times. Shame, shame, shame.

Judda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Judda said...

My favourite part in Commando is when Sully says to Arnie, 'I thought you were going to kill me last!" and Arnie says "I lied!" and drops Sully off the bridge. Cinematic classic.

I'd also like to add Beverly Hills Cop to the list for the "I'm not going to fall for the banana in the tail pipe" and the "Achnell Foley" parts.

my name is kate said...

Oh yes and I would say Coming to America too but I actually think that's not so much so-lame-it's-good as um actually good. Yeah shut up. What about cheesy martial arts movies? I love love love old Jackie Chan like Young Master, Drunken Master etc. That stuff is gold.