Some motherfucking fuckhead has been using my motherfucking phone.
Apologies for the language but what a cunt.
Since losing the thing on Sunday I’ve done jack about it, not really because I’m lazy, though I am, but because for some stupid reason I assumed that if someone found it they would try to get it back to its owners.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Why would I think for a second that the average person is anything more than a shithead when all evidence points to the contrary?
Today I finally rang up Virgin to admit defeat and cancel the phone, only to discover that some fuckstick has been using it for the last four days. And a few nice long, cosy chat he or she has been having too.
The helpful chick at Virgin did give me the numbers this dicksnap has been calling and if I were a much ballsier person, I might call them up and tell them their friend is a fucking thief. Well it is Friday so maybe I’ll have a few drinks and then do it.
UPDATE: I have been calling a couple of the numbers just for shits and giggles and to see who answers and the weirdest one so far? Anglicare. I suppose I should be grateful my phone has gone to the underprivileged.