No, wait, come back I didn't mean it. Okay I sort of did but let me explain. I am actually a closet Sam Neil enthusiast. I have no idea why but his craggy face and smirking mug have always appealed to me - I think he would be fun to go for a beer with. But his latest appearance on Aussie TV screens pimping red meat for Meat and Livestock Australia is really grinding my goddamn gears.
"Red meat - we were meant to eat it," he assures us, all charming cragginess and barely-hidden-beneath-the-surface smirk.
Now really what the fuck does "meant" mean? We're meant to eat it because our ancestors did? Well sure they did - they needed the energy, protein and iron. Early man didn't have access to the wide range of vegetables, grains, legumes and meat-substitutes that we do today. They didn't have the same food choices that we do and they needed every calorie they could get their hands on.
You know what else our ancestors did? They died early, by modern standards. They also evolved into us. You know what they didn't do? They didn't breed animals for the slaughter in the same way or on the same scale as we do. We are in a position now where we do not have to eat meat. Nobody does. It is possible, even easy, to be a perfectly healthy vegetarian and there is plenty of evidence to suggest that a good vegetarian diet is preferable to one containing meat.
It is everybody's individual choice whether they want to eat meat or not but to imply that we have some kind of evolutionary imperative to do so is both stupid and offensive. We aren't meant to do anything and chomping down on a piece of cow flesh is no more normal or natural than choosing to go for tofu. So, Sam, I understand that we all have bills to pay, but until you get another gig you can fuck off as far as I'm concerned.